no compass

the ins and outs
of her heart
are so confusing
to her
it is no wonder
that a boy
in unfamiliar territory
would stop trying
to navigate
for want of a better path.

dream girl

if only you knew me
when i am asleep
i think you'd like me more

i kiss you harder
and softer and longer
and can tell what i'm kissing you for

when i'm asleep
the colors are brighter
but the rules seem a hazier gray

and i'm flirtier and funnier
my personality's sunnier
and it's always a crazier day

the funny thing is
i'm not typically skinnier
i think i'm the same general me

but for whatever reason
(i didn't think i was inhibited?)
i'm the person i wish i could be

i think you'd like me better
if you knew me in my sleep
at least, i know i like me better that way

if you could come with me
into my lucid dream world
i'd be happy to sleep through the day

I'm Flirting Impaired

[I found a couple more of my poems at deviantArt. This one I wrote June 9th 2004, about PoetryBoy, my Boyfriend-ish person who later became my first kiss, even though I kinda didn't kiss him back. Yeah. Awkward.]

I'm Flirting Impaired

I am so confused
By this boy who looks like a man
Especially as a woman
Staying girl-child like Peter Pan

I haven’t been pretty
But Beautiful is inconceivable
I guard my heart
Never letting boys make me deceivable

So I get lost
look at him like a foreign creature
Whether in seats at a play
Or watching his game from the bleachers.

I wait each day
For him to realize who I am, according to me
But he keeps insisting he likes
This person I’m not sure how to be

He puts an arm
Around my shoulders and I stop my breath
I might have fun
If I weren’t so scared to death.

Never been kissed
Long forgotten sweet 16, I’m almost 25
But I don’t know how
To seem more alive.

So I just keep going
Along with newness till it gets too near
And maybe, just maybe
I’ll eventually be comfortable with you here.

Little Boy, Please?

[I originally dedicated "to E. S. G., my 'Young Elder' It hurts to wonder so hard" but I am over that one... there are a lot of these. *blush*]

Little Boy, Please?

Little boy,
please leave me alone.
I know that you do not mean
to tiptoe into my thoughts
my dreams
my journal
and my sketchbook
but I have many things to do
that have nothing to do with you
and whether you love me
or ever will.
So, please leave me alone . . .
or do not
and tell me
that you love me?
Please?