Ola

The man who has my heart
lives so far away
I can hear it beating, echoing faintly
From the direction of Africa
or is it Spain?
He sweet, and handsome
and dark as chocolate.
He is worth the work
so I keep trying to come closer to him
So our hearts can be in the same state
and state of being.

April Powers

the wind

is racing
through saffron
and purple
blossoms
reminding me
that spring
is violent
and love
is untrappable
as the viscous
racing
wind

no compass

the ins and outs
of her heart
are so confusing
to her
it is no wonder
that a boy
in unfamiliar territory
would stop trying
to navigate
for want of a better path.

dream girl

if only you knew me
when i am asleep
i think you'd like me more

i kiss you harder
and softer and longer
and can tell what i'm kissing you for

when i'm asleep
the colors are brighter
but the rules seem a hazier gray

and i'm flirtier and funnier
my personality's sunnier
and it's always a crazier day

the funny thing is
i'm not typically skinnier
i think i'm the same general me

but for whatever reason
(i didn't think i was inhibited?)
i'm the person i wish i could be

i think you'd like me better
if you knew me in my sleep
at least, i know i like me better that way

if you could come with me
into my lucid dream world
i'd be happy to sleep through the day

aftershocks

When we are talking
I forget how nervous it all makes me
until after you hang up
and a delayed reaction of tremors hit me
like pounding ocean waves
and my heart screams
"No! Wait! You had it right before!
Go back! Rewind! He makes me smile,
you ass of a brain!"
But my brain doesn't listen.
She just continues to tremble,
over-think, over-analyze, and generally drowned out
the sense my heart was making
when we were still talking on the phone.

Something Sweet

[Another poem of mine at deviantArt. October 1st, 2004... Ugh. I know who I was writing this about. Yeah, TexasBoy. But I think it translates well to today (Fresno)]

Something Sweet

I sit here
Craving something sweet.
Something that would inevitably
Send my diet crashing to the ground.
A sip of velvety chocolate,
A bite of warm cookie
from the oven
only moments ago,
A spoonful of Strawberry ice cream,
So cold,
The spoon sticks
to my tongue,
A deep swallow
Of cool lemonade,
Pink…


Or a letter
From you.

I'm Flirting Impaired

[I found a couple more of my poems at deviantArt. This one I wrote June 9th 2004, about PoetryBoy, my Boyfriend-ish person who later became my first kiss, even though I kinda didn't kiss him back. Yeah. Awkward.]

I'm Flirting Impaired

I am so confused
By this boy who looks like a man
Especially as a woman
Staying girl-child like Peter Pan

I haven’t been pretty
But Beautiful is inconceivable
I guard my heart
Never letting boys make me deceivable

So I get lost
look at him like a foreign creature
Whether in seats at a play
Or watching his game from the bleachers.

I wait each day
For him to realize who I am, according to me
But he keeps insisting he likes
This person I’m not sure how to be

He puts an arm
Around my shoulders and I stop my breath
I might have fun
If I weren’t so scared to death.

Never been kissed
Long forgotten sweet 16, I’m almost 25
But I don’t know how
To seem more alive.

So I just keep going
Along with newness till it gets too near
And maybe, just maybe
I’ll eventually be comfortable with you here.

Sweets

[I have a rather awkward confession about this one. I am not 100% certain who it was for, but I THINK I wrote it very VERY secretly and a little inappropriately for Cousin Jas. Note, Cousin Jas is not MY Cousin. It's not THAT inappropriate. Eew. *shudder* But the timing of it, had to be kind of recent. So... yeah, my brain is weird.

And BY THE WAY, should I ever decide to share my poetry with a CURRENT Boy (ie: Fresno?)( a thing which I have never done even though I write FOR them they NEVER know it) it is all about HIM, the boy of PRESENT. Capisce?!]

Sweets

He is mine
My sweet
Does more than my lungs
To make my heart beat.

He cries
And I tease him
But wrack my brain thinking
Of things that would please him.

I am his
His Sweet
He loves everything about me
From my forehead to my feet.

I cry
And he holds me
Says things will work out
Just wait and see

He is my mine
I am his sweet
Forever in the temple
And under the sheets.

Mostly

[finally, a more recent one. Warning, it's sappy... and technically lyrics to a song, but you'll never hear the tune, since I don't actually write notes, so whatever.]

Mostly

I like to sip my milk from a sturdy Mason jar

I like watch folks at the store and wonder who they are

I like to name the lobsters in the tank, though they're for food

I like to read graffiti, even if I think it's rude.

But Mostly, I like you.

I like to buy a drink from local lemonade stands

I like to write to pen pals living in distant lands

I like to watch the tadpoles till they turn into frogs

I like to ignore joggers, but say Hello to their dogs

But Mostly, I like you.

You're almost all those good things that a girl like me needs

A crazy girl who reads much, star gazes and plants flower seeds

A boy who's almost silly as the girl writing this song

The girl she may just find she likes that boy her whole life long.

Consoling The Future Groom

[to the FRINGE, who else?]

Consoling The Future Groom

I hate being engaged!
he yells shaking the walls
and assumptions.
I try to comfort him
it will be all right you love her
and she loves you
he starts to cry.
yes he says
but the waiting and aching
and her
she yells crying with her plans
and 20 credit hours
not enough time!
too much time!
it will be alright, just hang on.
you will be there
you promise
he pleads
i do.

Love and Bonsai

Little Boy, Please?

[I originally dedicated "to E. S. G., my 'Young Elder' It hurts to wonder so hard" but I am over that one... there are a lot of these. *blush*]

Little Boy, Please?

Little boy,
please leave me alone.
I know that you do not mean
to tiptoe into my thoughts
my dreams
my journal
and my sketchbook
but I have many things to do
that have nothing to do with you
and whether you love me
or ever will.
So, please leave me alone . . .
or do not
and tell me
that you love me?
Please?

Exs and Ohs

How can I have Exs
when I haven't any Ohs
In life's big game
of Tic Tac Toe?

Not that I'd really
want an Ex, per say
but an Oh would be nice
at least someday.

Ya gotta meet some frogs
while your lookin' for a prince
Well, I have no frogs
so that should give you a hint.

So I don't have any Exs
and I don't have any Ohs
In my Love-struck version
of Tic Tac Toe.